Paris 8 IEE affaires internationales

GENERAL COMMENTS
Many of you made mistakes with numbers. It may seem like a detail, but multiplying or dividing what you mean by 1000 is hardly a detail! In general, however, your presentations were very good and you seem to have remembered some of my advice.
SOVASI COACHIN’
“Massage” is usually uncountable, like “advice”, so “massages” and “advices” are wrong. So is “1 000 000 €” – you should write “€1,000,000” or “€1m”. A “particular hotel” isn’t English – or if it is, it would mean “a specific hotel” (the Crillon, for example). Only French cities have arrondissements, so we don’t translate it. Too much use of “the” (“the bodybuilding”, etc.) Your use of slides was good – they didn’t simply reproduce what you were saying. “Me, I…” at the beginning of a sentence is literally “Moi, je…” and it’s not English! “Musculation” isn’t English, you should say “weight-training”. The opposite of “closed” is “open” (not “opened”). “Nobody is judged on their physical appearance” (not “its” – you can’t use ‘it’ for a person). “On the radio” (not “in”). “To come to our center” (not “in” – what you said means “jouir”!) 15/20
MERCURY
The expression is “small and medium businesses” (not “enterprises”). “Notoriety” means being famous for a bad reason, e.g. “a notorious criminal”. “Benefic” isn’t English, you should say “beneficial”. You used your slides well – you weren’t reading them – but you started going too fast when I told you you only had 5min left. Spelling mistakes: “equipment”, “resources”, “payment” etc. “Furniture” is uncountable. “€200,000”, not “200.000 Euros”. I mentioned the other points I wanted to raise with you. Maybe your presentation was a little serious? You answered all the questions on the checklist – good. 16/20
PAUSE DÉTENTE
“To reach” customers, not “touch”. “Manager” or “director”, not “responsible” – responsible is an adjective, so it never has an ‘s’ on the end. E.g. “Marketing manager”, not “commercial responsible”. Some of the time you were reading your text. “Lounges of massage” is word-for-word translation from French, you should say “massage rooms” (don’t say “massage parlours”, that usually means brothels!) “It’s more easy for place an order” – you should say “it’s easier to place an order” (2 mistakes, caused by translating French literally). You pay a person and pay for something – similar problem with “ask” and “ask for” – check you are clear about the difference. You answered most of the questions on the checklist. 13/20
INK-SPLASH
You started by reading a slide, but after that your text was better presented – you showed you had your information in your heads. Your customers could call for their documents (not “pass”). “6pm”, not “18”. “Company chart” (not “company’s”). “Rent a local” means nothing in English, you should say “rent premises” (local is only an adjective, except in a colloquial usage which means ‘nearest pub’). “Stationery”, not “stationaries” (wrong spelling, and it’s uncountable). “Determined”, not “determinated”. “€22,300”, not “22.300 €” (you divided the amount by 1,000!) You answered the questions on the checklist. Your slides looked good. I’m not sure people would come from P13 to P8 – it’s not far but it isn’t that easy! 14/20
PET HOUSE
Numbers: “61.6m”, not “61,6mln” and “4.5bn”, not “4,5mlrd” – what you wrote doesn’t mean anything in English. “Why we have decided…?” – you know that’s not a correct question. Your presentation was entertaining and your slides were good. “To be made up of” (not “to compose”), “to check”, not “to control”. We talk about “the suburbs” (in general) or “a suburb” (e.g. Saint Denis), but not “the suburb”. You answered the questions on the checklist. Most of your information was in your heads. “Companies” (there is no ‘g’, and don’t say ‘enterprises’, either). You confused “to look at” and “to look after”. Giving best/worst forecasts was a good idea. You panicked a bit when I said you had 5min left. 15/20
MORPHEUS DRIVERS
Alcohol is the leading factor, not the “first”. “Progress” or “improvement”, not “progression”. You used French guillemets instead of English inverted commas. The details of your plan were well thought-out. “Concurrence” isn’t English (at least not in the sense of “competition”, it means “agreement”). “Training”, not “formation”. “18-30 year-old people” (it’s used as an adjective, so no ‘s’ – same for “income forecast”). Misuse of the word “course” – taxi drivers call it a “fare”, but I think you want to say a “trip”. (Check meanings of “course”, there are quite a lot.) My little book on Greek mythology says Morpheus was the god of dreams, the son of Hypnus (the god of sleep) and the grandson of Nyx the goddess of night – but nothing about the relationship between the name and ‘shape’. 15/20